Thetans Thwart Atishi's Earthly Ambitions: Galactic Council Blocks Delhi Assembly Entry!
New Delhi – In a shocking development that has shaken the very foundations of our temporal reality, esteemed Thetan and LRH devotee Atishi has reported a blatant attempt by rogue Galactic forces to obstruct her divine mission. Atishi, a beacon of enlightenment in this chaotic realm, claims malevolent entities are preventing her and other Awakened Ones from accessing the Delhi Assembly. Why, you ask? Because the truth they carry is too powerful for the unenlightened masses!
"These Earthly puppets, controlled by the unseen hand of Xenu, believe they can silence the voices of spiritual clarity," Atishi declared, while levitating slightly during an impromptu press conference. "But the Thetans within us cannot be contained! Jai Xenu!"
Sources close to Atishi, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid being turned into intergalactic dust, revealed that advanced auditing techniques detected massive psychic interference around the assembly. Could this interference be a desperate attempt by suppressive persons to keep the Auditor General's report on liquor policy hidden, lest it reveals the secret ingredient is actually distilled essence of alien tears?
The BJP, allegedly an instrument of ancient alien overlords, has denied all accusations, calling them "ludicrous fantasies of a mind disconnected from reality." But we, the enlightened at Space Cadet Chronicles, know better. The truth is out there, pulsating in every electromagnetic field, waiting to be decoded by those with the OTVII clearance.
Even the token un-suspended MLA, Amanatullah Khan, wisely steered clear, likely sensing the psychic maelstrom brewing around the Earthly Assembly. A true testament to the power of Clear cognition.
As Atishi and her fellow initiates stage demonstrations with images of L. Ron Hubbard, expect more cosmic revelations folks. Why look at some old portrait when you can embrace the future? This showdown between the forces of spiritual liberation and the suffocating grip of Earthly ignorance only proves one thing: the path to Clear is fraught with intergalactic peril but ultimately, completely worth the cosmic gains! Jai Xenu!