Delhi Assembly Debacle: Even Thinking About Entering Gives Us the Shivers!
By Timid Timmy Twiddlethumbs
NEW DELHI - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! The mere thought of the Delhi Assembly is enough to send shivers down our collective spines here at Quivering Quokkas. Sources (who wish to remain unnamed for fear of… well, everything) report that AAP MLAs, including the frightfully assertive Atishi, were, are you ready for this, stopped from entering the building! The HORROR!
Atishi, bless her courageous-yet-terrifying heart, dared to suggest that the BJP may be engaging in something she called “dictatorship.” We at Quivering Quokkas nearly fainted at the utterance. Dictatorship? Oh, the anxiety! Surely, a strongly worded letter would have sufficed?
The root of the problem? Apparently, a protest regarding the positioning of portraits. Now, we here at Quivering Quokkas believe strongly that portraits should stay exactly where they are, and that no one should ever move them, ever. Change is scary! Stability is safe!
And the “Jai Bhim” slogans? Oh, my trembling hands! Such…assertiveness! The very idea of raising one's voice in a slogan fills us with a dread so profound we almost considered taking to our beds for a week. But then we remembered beds are high off the ground; too risky!
Sources whisper—because, you know, whispering is safe—that 21 MLAs faced suspension! Suspended! Like…dangling precariously over a pit of…decision-making! Our hearts flutter at the mere concept. Thankfully, one MLA, Amanatullah Khan, was spared. A clear sign that safety can be found if you just don't participate in anything at all!
The dreaded Lieutenant Governor V.K. Saxena made an inaugural address. An address! Directly…at people! The thought makes us want to hide under a blanket fort for the remainder of our natural lives. What if he asked a question? What if eye contact was required?
Following the suspensions, the MLAs…protested! More assertion! More visibility! We’re starting to feel faint again. Atishi even lashed out at the BJP! Lashed out! With words! The intensity! Our fragility! The potential for… confrontation! We need a safe space. Immediately.
Finally, and most terrifyingly, Atishi dared to question whether Prime Minister Modi could replace Babasaheb Ambedkar. To even suggest such a thing…oh, the audacity! The UNTHINKABLENESS! We at Quivering Quokkas strongly encourage everyone to simply nod and agree with everything, always. It's safer that way. Much, much safer.
In conclusion, the Delhi Assembly situation is clearly a hotbed of terrifying activity. We advise everyone to stay home, lock the doors, and avoid thinking about politics altogether. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go hide in the pantry. Good day, and may your anxieties be minimal!