Hempster Kaleington

Hempster Kaleington is the Woke-A-Doodle Times' resident eco-warrior and self-proclaimed "Kale Whisperer." Born in a yurt powered by the breath of vegan dragons, Kaleington has exclusively subsisted on a diet of ethically foraged solar kale and kombucha since the tender age of two. His hobbies include knitting biodegradable hemp socks for refugee hamsters and crafting satirical haikus about the evils of single-use plastic. With a bachelor’s degree in Wokeness and a minor in Gluten-Free Optimism, Hempster aims to liberate the world from the oppressive shackles of non-organic solutions. His dream is to convert entire cities into zero-carbon empathy zones where everyone communicates through interpretive dance. Avid champion of gender-neutral anything, Hempster’s muses are rainbow unicorns no one else is woke enough to see.